During a training session on communication skills for the Ohio Court Appointed Special Advocates/Guardian Ad Litem State Conference I mentioned the importance of establishing rapport in an interview situation. One of the participants quickly stated that he always began his interviews by focusing on personal questions to show that he had an interest what the interviewee had to share. While I concur that this is an appropriate way to begin an interview, it is not necessarily the way to establish rapport. I have been in conversations that were very personal and friendly, but I did not necessary feel comfortable or "in tune" with the other person. Rapport means to be "in harmony, conformity, accord or affinity." We might say it means to be "in sync" with another person. Most of us have that special someone that we can share mostanything with. There is a comfortableness about our ability to communicate with this person. We have a deep sense that they truly hear and understand what weare saying. We trust them with the information we are giving them. This is the feeling of rapport.
Rapport is not a state; it is a process of continually building the sense of trust with the other person. During an interviewing session a good interviewer assumes the responsibility for establishing and maintaining rapport. By being "in sync" with the other person's language - verbal and body - you establish a climate that opens communication for a freer flow on information.Building rapport focuses on the ability of the interviewer to identify and reflect back cues from the interviewee. For example, I frequently use my hands when talking. If I am interviewing with a person who sits with their hands folded I sometimes begin to feel self-conscious with my hand movements and so find myself consciously holding my hands still. The result is that I feel somewhatuncomfortable and constrained - unnatural. On the other hand, it the interviewer uses his/her hands, even slightly, my unconscious mind tells me it is okay for me to use my hands to express myself. I begin to feel more at ease and conversation becomes easier for me.
Sitting forward in a chair or sitting back in a chair, nodding my head or keeping it still, using my hands or keeping them folded, putting an elbow on the table or keeping my elbows off the table, speaking faster or slower, raisingthe tone or softening the tone of my voice are all the kinds of physical "mirroring" that I might do during an interview to set the interviewee at ease. I will follow their lead, and gently mirror their movements. (There is a distinction here between mirroring and mimicking. Mirroring is subtle movement meant to communicate acceptance and openness to the other person. Mimicking is not subtle and sends a very different message.)
Another strategy for creating rapport is to listen carefully to the language of the interviewee to determine their language preference. All of us experience our world through our senses. We see, we hear, we feel, we smell, we taste. Often our language will reflect our "representational system." Ahighly visual person will tend to use visual language. I see what you mean. It looks like this. I just don't get the picture. This is not clear to me. Ineed to put this in focus. An auditory person will use auditory language,such as, I hear you. Let me amplify on that. I need to talk about this. It was like a whisper in my ear. It just didn't click with me. The kinesthetic person uses feeling or sensory words. I have a feel for this. I need to get a handle on this. I have a knot in my stomach. This was a struggle for me. I'm getting a grasp on what you are saying.
By listening for the interviewees representational system, as expressedthrough primary verbs, adjectives and adverbs, you can ask questions in their language which again communicates to the unconscious mind that your are "in sync." Information flows more freely when we are talking with language that is comfortable for us. We feel a sense of connectedness or a feeling of rapport with the other person. It is truly as if we are "speaking the same language."
Establishing rapport is the role of the interviewer. It requires attention to more than words. After all, only 7% of communication involves words or language. 38% of communication is tone of voice and 55% of communication is bodylanguage. Building rapport focuses attention on language patterns and non-verbal cues.
An interviewer that can establish and maintain rapport throughout the interview process will find that information flows freely and often the interviewee will self disclose far more than is asked through the questioning process. Avolunteer interview is about finding a good "fit" for the applicant.You are looking for information that will help you identify interests, abilities, motivations and suitability for your particular jobs.
To prepare for an interview have the following items ready:
During the interview be prepared to ask the applicant to describe situations or past behaviors that would relate to the skills, qualities, motivations you are seeking for your volunteer job positions. The following are sample interview questions.
Allow people time to think. Sometimes the most difficult aspect of theinterview is to allow for silence. We often have a tendency to fill silence too quickly. Use times of silence to hone your observation skills. And, don't bejudgmental about the silence. Some people need time to think about their answers. It is important for them to put their thoughts together before responding. Others are quick to respond, organizing their thoughts as they speak.
Interviewing is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. Ask others to help you construct helpful questions. Be sure that your questions are open ended and give the applicant an opportunity to expand on responses by asking follow up on questions. "You mentioned _________. Tell me more aboutthat. How do you feel about that situation today? (How do you see thatsituation today? What would you say in that situation today?)
Listen for the language cues and customize your questions. "What would you like to gain from volunteering here?" would be altered for a visual person to, "What do you see yourself gaining from volunteering here?" For the kinesthetic person you might ask, "What do you feel you might gain from volunteering here?" Ask the auditory person "What would you say you might gain from volunteering here?" Another example might be "Are there particular situations where you do not see yourself working?"(visual) "Are there particular situations thatjust do not click for you?" (auditory) "Are there particular situations that are uncomfortable for you?"(kinesthetic) Remember, youmay not be asking the question in a form that is comfortable for you, rather, you are asking the question in a form that may be most comfortable for the interviewee. By using their language pattern they will feel an affinity (rapport) with you and their responses will be freer and often more forthright.
Rapport is an ongoing process. It is the role of the interviewer to establish rapport. Rapport building techniques like mirroring body language, toneof voice and language patterns speak to the unconscious mind and help to build a bridge of trust between the interviewer and the interviewee. It is a skill that takes time and conscious effort to develop, but can greatly enhance the interviewing process.
Mary is a certified trainer in Strategic Communication Skills, whichteaches rapport building techniques as a foundation for ten listening/communication skills. A two or three day training event allows for in-depth coverage andextensive practice in the skills. Shorter sessions give an overview and introduction to specific skills. For more information about these training sessions, contact Mary at marymerrill@merrillassociates.net.
References:
Alder, H. (1996). NLP for managers. Judy Piatkus Ltd.: London, UK.
Andreas, S. & Faulkner C. (1994). NLP the newtechnology of achievement. William Morrow and Co.: New York.
Laborde, G. (1987). Influencing with integrity: Management skills for communication and negotiation. Syntony Publishing: Palo Alto, California.
Lewis, B & Pucelik, F. (1990). Magic of NLP demystified. Metamorphous Press: Portland, Oregon.